You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
