i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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