pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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