Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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