i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
