today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
