its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
