A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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