i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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