I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He passed out mid-signature
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
