maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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