Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
