I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
