who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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