Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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