Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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