I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
