her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
