I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
