I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
