Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
