Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
