just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
