They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
