the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
