oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Come share oat with me in your robe
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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