I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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