You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
