Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
