I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
