he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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