New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you didnt know i had herpes?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
