how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Please, let me fuck your mom
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
