better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was not drunk enough for that final.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
