Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
