i just wanna soil my oats bro
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
