Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
