i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
