I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize