5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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