omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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