We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
