I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
