Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
