and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
