Swine flu. Run for my life!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
