Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
false alarm. still invincible.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
