The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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