similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
