no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
