Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
