haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
In other news, I just burned my penis
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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