I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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