I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
