is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
