You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
