I am puke
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
