you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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