Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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