Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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