I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
